But my favorite ex-girlfriend decided not to enjoy them right after I tried penetration

But my favorite ex-girlfriend decided not to enjoy them right after I tried penetration

21. LONGER FINGERNAILS.

I really like those long, pointy Lana Del Rey nails. with those tough talons.

Oh, the sacrifices people fashion lezzies must lead to sex! However sexual climaxes feel much better than acrylic fingernails taste.

22. Faking an orgasm.

You may be able to mock sexual climaxes with people, however you canaˆ™t trick your own personal sex, sweetie. Discovered this option the tough means.

23. Unprotected sex, because, you understand, aˆ?lesbians canaˆ™t create STIs.aˆ?

Iaˆ™m astonished We made it past my personal naughty phase (We declare aˆ?slutaˆ? in an inspired strategy! Donaˆ™t fear!) without catching every STI on a sunny day.

Used to donaˆ™t even comprehend what a tooth dam was actually as soon as was 21. I thought it was anything these people jammed within mouth area with the dental practitioner. And I loathe the dental practitioner.

24. Trying to play in to the aˆ?helpless femmeaˆ? stereotype.

Mainly because environment associates femininity with tiredness shouldnaˆ™t suggest I have to have fun with the character. Tighten that. We have on lots of makeup, look nice in pale red, and can also rescue me from almost any problems.

25. Falling crazy while wasted at lezzie activities.

aˆ?Owen, Iaˆ™m in loveaˆ? (more…)

Continue Reading But my favorite ex-girlfriend decided not to enjoy them right after I tried penetration